The Apple iPhone coupon scam

Apple Inc., the company that stole it’s branding from The Beatles, has decided to tell it’s iPhone customers how to get a little of the unholy amount of money they charge for the iPhone back.  Just like Microsoft’s “giving back” of money after their colossal monopoly lawsuits, Apple is giving store credit.  So what can you get?  Well, this reporter decided to take a trip to an Apple store to find out what could be purchased for $100.00 in store credit.  The answer might surprise you.

Figuring that the iTunes store would be a good shopping place and quite a unique experience for me to buy music instead of just downloading it for free (ya, screw you Metallica!) seemed like a good thought, but the store credit can not be used at the iTunes store.

Alright then, time for getting a gift card for a friend as an apology for running over cats, repeatedly, with my car.  Oh wait, no, gift cards are not an option either.  Hmm.. guess it’s time for some more creative thinking.

Going to the FAQ page on Apple’s site answers the question:
   What products can I purchase using an Apple Store credit code??
   You can purchase just about anything sold by Apple, except another Apple Store Gift Card or an iTunes electronic Gift Certificate.

So what’s left you ask?  Cables.   Chargers.  Cases for iPods and iPhones.  A new Mac.  Another iPhone.  iPods.  You know, stuff that you already have because if you actually bought the iPhone this early in the product cycle you already buy everything you can afford from Apple, you Steve Jobs loving-nut-ball.

I think that this all seems fair.  You buy an iPhone at $599 a month ago, Apple lowers the price to $399 and you get $100 store credit back which would be half the amount you would have saved it you weren’t inpatient and waited to buy the iPhone until now.

Now it’s time for an insider conversation with the man of the hour, day, week, year, decade .. Steve Jobs.
RetardNews: “Mr. Jobs, don’t you think the rebate is not really enough compared to what customers lost by buying the iPhone upon its release?”
Steve Jobs: “Apple stands behind everything we sell and though it’s not a great deal, it’s our way of giving back a little without hindering the stock price or my bonus.”
RN: “What?  What did you say about your bonus?”
SJ: “Apple has a job to protect its employees, at least the top earning employees.  Who is ‘RetardNews’ anyway?”
RN: “Stop deflecting Mr. Jobs, please.  Is the coupon deal really just a scam?”
SJ: “The store credit is real and not any type of scam.  True that it will more than likely bring people back into the stores so they will spend more money, but the truth is that the American consumer is an idiot so Apple is only taking advantage of idiots.”
RN: “How could you insult Apple’s core customer group like that?  Are you aware that this conversation is being recorded?”
SJ: “You have an iPhone in your hands, if you could record on that device with any regularity Apple wouldn’t have so many that have been refurbished that are now being sold for even less than the ‘discounted’ version.”
RN: “Well, thank you for your candor.”
SJ: “I like wearing P.J. pants.”

Head your ass over to Apple’s store credit web page and get yourself $100 store credit, which will be texted to you on your iPhone.

BTW: What’s with the naming of the iPhone image on the Apple store credit site: “welcome_hero_20070913.png” ?