Two arrested in world’s most retarded presidential assassination attempt

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A pair of skinheads planned the world’s most retarded assassination that involved driving a car towards president Obama with guns blazing while wearing white tuxedos with top hats.

Daniel Cowart, 20 of Bells, Tennessee, and Paul Schlesselman 18, of Helena-West Helena, Arkansas are being held without bond.

The two have been charged with possessing an unregistered firearm, conspiring to steal firearms and threatening a presidential candidate.

Daniel and Paul planned to steal weapons from a gun store to arm themselves.

The assassination attempt was to follow a murder spree of 102 African Americans, 88 by gunshot and 14 by beheading.

Secret Service spokesman Eric Zahren said there did not appear to be any formal assassination plan.

“Whether or not they had the capability or the wherewithal to carry out an attack remains to be seen,” he said.

Zahren said the statements about the assassination came out in interviews after the men were arrested last week for shooting at an all black church in Tennessee.

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