When Paul Hayward decided to start annoying his neighbors, it’s hard to conceivably think that he was going to keep up the hard work for over 10-years. But without missing too many occasions to torment and torture his neighbors, Paul found that life was simply filled with fun things to do instead of letting unknown issues lie.

Paul didn’t remember why he disliked his neighbors, but after having been crawling up their asses for years and years, it’s not something that can be dropped.

Think of something that you’ve actually kept doing for 10 years. It’s not easy to think of something besides breathing or eating, but those are either unconscious actions or barely conscious activities, but calling your neighbor and hanging up hundreds of times over the years, ordering pizza, Chinese food, coal, pest control, roof repair, and several other unneeded and unrequested services… well, that’s dedication.

Paul Hayward took his family of two kids (this site doesn’t care if Hayward’s married or not) and moved to another location. That didn’t stop the old neighbors from persisting with their freedoms, the freedom to not-get delivery from restaurants they didn’t order it from, the freedom to answer the phone because it’s family calling and not some odd 49-year-old mouth-breather. The freedom to not deal with someone that might have been miserable.

So the old neighbors decided that their previous suffering was worthy of persistently following up on, and they succeeded. Paul Hayward now has 14-months of jail to discuss with other convicts things he’ll be able to carry out on the old neighbors after he’s released.

Why don’t some neighbors let sleeping dogs lie (or annoying former neighbors go away)?

Anthony Hensley, aged 37-years old at the time of his swanning, died when he was kayaking in a pond near an apartment complex on Bay Colony Drive in Cook County (near Des Plaines). It’s believed that Hensley was checking on the wellness of the swans which were kept in the pond to keep geese away.

Geese are not killers as swans have turned out to be, but still geese can come with their own problems. I guess.

The kayak was witnessed being in a vertical fashion instead of horizontal, so somehow Hensley kept his kayak in a skilled and difficult position while dying. Eye witness testimony of course is flawed and sometimes useless, like when identifying which swans caused the kayak attack.

The swans had somehow drowned Hensley.

There are currently no planned vengeances and no intentions to question or hold the birds. Seems like if people could train swans to attack and kill, they could get away with it.

Source of the killer swan attacks.

In case you heard about the widow of the attacked:

Another TSA inspector was caught doing something illegal. It was going through luggage and allegedly taking iPads. The reason that Retard News states allegedly is because there is little doubt in this report’s news creating mind that iPads were only a small portion of things that Clayton Keith Dovel of Bedford, Texas, stole from several dozens or hundreds or thousands of Dallas Fort Worth (DFW) flyers.

Of the 8 iPads recovered, what else is missing? Well, with this little fact of 8 alleged iPad thefts the numbers are quite vivid (and totally fabricated). Anyone that gets caught with possession of 8 iPads must have previously had more iPads, also taken iPods and iPhones. Since Clayton got caught, it would be smart to assume he previously stole 29 different iPads but needed to reduce volume in case he got caught. Math, it’s what’s for dinner!

Released on $5,000 bail… … … What? The bail amount is nearly the value of 8 iPads priced brand new. This would be like getting bail for stealing an ounce of marijuana of $400 (more or less, depending on your strain loves).

When Retard Zone decides to steal the Internet, the crew looks forward to giving “the Internet” as bail.

Read more sorcery about TSA agents stealing personal items.

Rebecca Silva, 24-year-old woman that might have happened into a house, attempted to breast feed a child, then find a bed to fall asleep on, was arrested after allegations led to her being taken from the home of someone that she might not have known. In any way.

When the at-home-and-biologically-correct mother got the opportunity she rescued her baby hid out in her own home and then called the police to have the alleged stranger removed from her residence.

After the police arrived, they were able to determine both women had conflicting stories and were both a little batty. Come on, how would one woman really get the idea to break into another woman’s house, attempt to breast feed her child, then fall asleep AT the house? More likely the story will eventually be told, and it will be something more like…

“A woman invited another woman into her house in an attempt to keep from awaking early to breast feed her own child. After arrests were made for one woman attempting to breast feed another woman’s baby who the first woman neglected in order to catch a few more hours sleep, the baby was found to be the only innocent person in the mix and wound up deciding on the stranger’s breasts instead of the child’s biological parent’s breast milk. Both woman are being held without bail for being gross and wrong, and for recording the act and posting onto YouTube.”

Source for the breast feeding break-in.

When 79-year-old Jieming Liu came to the United States with his wife, the intention was to be close to their son, who was the first on-scene post initial cannibalism act.

Investigators of the incident, in which Liu allegedly killed his wife Yuee Zhou (73-years-old), have been following the impression that Liu has lost his marbles or his mind or his faculties… but chances are this is the smartest thing that Liu had accomplished in his life. Being able to kill a spouse and then remove her arm below the elbow, possibly consume a little bit of her, then claim ignorance; the brilliance of getting away with the smallest charges possible should be commended.

No way would Retard News (or it’s parent, Retard Zone) would ever recommend that someone eat another person (this is a bad habit and really should be kept as one). But in the interest of the news, there might be some Chinese for dinner tonight.

There is no news on whether Liu was hungry an hour later (right, stupid, but needed to be put out there).

There’s more you can read about the astonishing Chinese malnutrition associated with eating people here.

More of the super elitist club in a bit, first let us take a quick look at the dangers of the super-rich.

According to dozens of sites trying to make the poorest of us feel good about ourselves, winning the recent super mega millionaire producing lottery wouldn’t give you more than $60 million of post-tax winnings. While you only have $60 million total, chance are that you’ll spend through the money too quickly and stupidly to have enough money to join the Wells Fargo elite.

Because you have won money, and that’s not nearly as good as having it given to you (Gates, Buffet, Mexican cartels, Asian family-business runners), there’s little chance you’ll be treated like royalty from Wells Fargo, they might even charge you on the monthly checking account unless you promise to deposit your paychecks from the lottery directly.

As for hackers… you have read countless stories about the hacktivists, the hackers, the Trojans, malware, bots, etc…, but have you wondered who pays the hackers or what they are hacking for in exchange for their time? Well, making a one-stop-shop for them to peel apart the money of the Wells Fargo ultra-rich is a good idea, since most readers to these sites don’t want hackers coming after our Bank of America and US Bank accounts (we’re all broke and not worth pursuing, really).

What could a hacker do with the information presented to them in a nice, clean, all-together spot? Just wait for the news stories to break about it.

Source of Wells Fargo elitist news story.

When the educators at Oaksterdam University are teaching students, they teach all ages about all aspects of the federally illegal but state legal herb, bush, greenery.

When the IRS came knocking with the federal agents there was little question that the school would be turned into a soon-available-to-lease building. After all, why lease a space to a competent lessee when you can evacuate a location leaving it abandoned and useless for income production.

What about the people that were getting their relaxed education?

Well, in a possibly unrelated story there was a shooting in Oakland at a school. It wasn’t the Oaksterdam University where the shooting took place, it was at Oikos University. There were tarps used to cover the bodies at the private university. Is it remotely possible that those same bodies might have been alive longer if it weren’t for the Oaksterdamn closing?

I haven’t met many people that were high and thinking about shooting up a school or injuring others.

Source of East Oakland college shooting, source of the Oaksterdam University closing.

Where this reporter works between non-blogging hours there have been several thefts in the last couple months of company hardware, in one case an iPad (original version) was stolen. Eventually when the police were brought in, they went through the proper authority and procedures to start tracking the iPad after it had been reported stolen months previous. The end result is not what this article is about, so back to the subject.

When the former co-worker was caught stealing nobody knew that the person was a meth user. Of course not all Apple thieves are meth users, some are cocaine users too and others probably just use whatever is around (poop is a drug too).

Had Apple’s warranty information, instructions, or other useful (and useless) information come with the notice that drug users, drug dealers, and other members of the drug underground were likely to steal them maybe people could be more prepared.

In this reporter’s employer I’m sure that a random drug test could have shown the police the true Apple thief.

Source: Apple thieves like drugs

Funny More: undercover drug sign at work

Why when reading a story about Coke and Pepsi would someone take the time to re-post about it? I’ll tell you why, because of the cancer that is consumed daily by this re-poster along with the thousands of other Retards and other readers out there (if you don’t like being thought of as a “retard” and take it offensively, you really haven’t read much of this site or Retard Zone or Retard Media).

There is a new law in the state of California. The law mandates drinks containing a certain level of carcinogens come with a cancer warning label. That sounds great. That’s totally expected. That is absolutely needed.

Wait. WTF?

What happens if the carcinogens in the caramel coloring are below whatever level California law mandates for notification of the consumer? The answer is, nothing. That’s the way soda is made these days. Not just soda, but many consumables and drinks and other things human beings put into their body on a daily basis.

When a company exceeds the cancerous amounts required to be honest about the contents, they will make changes.

When a company needs to admit to it’s audience that there are health reasons not not to consume it’s products via labeling, they will make the necessary changes just to keep the public blind enough to keep consuming.

Years ago when all the products from China were being found to have lead and cancer causing properties, Retard News reported on it and because of the Retard community, there are several less received Chinese deadly toys.

Will the soda continue to slowly kill the public ingesting it? Yep! Count this poster in too, with over a 6-pack of soda consumed every day just to make it into work in the morning there’s no question that cancer or not, soda is here to stay.

Coca-Cola & PepsiCo kill with cancer.

Mercedes decided that to promote fuel-cell technology they would use the same technology that’s been used for several other stupid stunts and create a Mercedes that displays on one side what a camera lens has in view from the opposite side. This idea seemed more real years and years ago when I read about someone doing this with a jacket.

The jacket didn’t cost nearly as much money though, as Mercedes spent what in the United States of America would be looked at as the upper 2% of household incomes just for one-off Mercedes that looked like the background.

Admittedly, the background of the Mercedes looks much better than the actual car. I’ve worked with people that have similar looking Mercedes, I’m in agreement that Mercedes should figure out how to make their cars look like something else since the actual car designs aren’t causing people to rush out and buy them.

Well, check out the $300,000 Mercedes (don’t forget destination charges).