Everyday Retards News

How to get deadly rich

This website costs money to run, but I’m not smart enough to stop. The truth is that I’m not nearly as smart as the list of men that make more money now that they are dead than 99.5% of Americans will make while they are alive. Ridiculous and amazing at the same time.

Eugene Isenberg is the 78-year-old chief executive of Nabors Industries Ltd. If Mr. Isenberg died tomorrow, Nabors would owe his estate a “severance” payment of at least $263.6 million, company filings show. That’s more than the first-quarter earnings at the Houston oil-service company. Continue Reading »

Red Bull gives and takes away wings

DETROIT - The only races seen at the Detroit River on Saturday were the ones shown on jumbo video screens.

Wind forced the organizers of the Red Bull Air Race World Series to postpone qualifying rounds.

Twelve pilots had been expected to reach speeds of up to 230 mph as they zipped through inflated obstacles in the river. But winds gusting to more than 59 mph prevented the planes from flying as scheduled. Continue Reading »

Teenager survives shark attack in his bedroom

14-year-old Sam Hawthorne of Dudley England was “attacked” by a shark in his bedroom while sleepwalking. The teen was caught in the jaws of the beast for 15 minutes and drenched in blood before his parents could free him. The holiday souvenir on the wall left a small scar and the boy took a few days off from school.

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Nude maid strips home of valuables

A 50-year-old Florida man hired a maid to clean his home in the nude. Authorities say the women who arrived in a skimpy light colored one-piece dress was left alone in the bedroom to clean. When the man’s wife returned home from vacation she discovered the maid had stripped the home of valuables.
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Parents arrested for putting baby up for sale on Craigslist

Recently a listing on Craigslist for a baby girl for $10,000 prompted calls to the police. The ad read “A new baby girl, seven days old, healthy and very cute,” read the ad. “Can’t afford and unexpected. Looking for a good home. Please call ASAP.”
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How to pay off the national debt

As of December 2006 there wer 2,258,983 prisoners in Federal or State prisons or in local jails. Approximately 2% of those prisoners were in for check fraud. None of those prisoners could hold a checkbook to Chrles Ray Fuller though. Fuller attempted to cash a check at a Forth Worth Bank for $360 billion.

Apparently the cashier was suspicious of the check amount and called the check’s original owner. Fuller’s girlfriend’s mother stated she knew nothing of the check and that Fuller was not authorized to take or cash the check. It seems that she didn’t bother telling the bank employee whether her account balance could cover the amount. Continue Reading »

Software programmer convicted of murder

It wasn’t a video game that the software programmer Hans Reiser was playing. This wasn’t like playing Halo or Grand Theft Auto, it wasn’t something that would be turned off after it happened, this was first-degree murder and the end of the story wouldn’t be able to be reset.

A software programmer was convicted Monday of first-degree murder for killing his estranged wife, whom he contends may be living elsewhere. Continue Reading »

Going blind not related to prostate cancer

Frequent masturbation may help men cut their risk of contracting prostate cancer, Australian researchers have found. It is believed that carcinogens may build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly, BBC News reported on Wednesday. The researchers surveyed more than 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer, and 1,250 men who had not. They found that men who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to get cancer. Men who ejaculated more than five times each week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer. Continue Reading »

Chicago shooting spree not in season

CHICAGO (WLS) — A violent weekend in Chicago has left at least 31 people shot since Friday afternoon, and six of the shooting victims have died.

A 12-year-old and a 14-year-old were among those wounded. Authorities say the boys were shot about 11:30 p.m. Saturday in the 5300 block of West Madison. One of them was hurt critically.
As crews were responding to that shooting, a third person was shot, just around the corner. And just 40 minutes earlier, three men were shot, less than a block away. Continue Reading »

Gas prices are still going up

Camarillo, California (AP) - A survey says the national average price for regular gasoline rose nearly 16 cents in the past two weeks.

The average price of self-serve regular gasoline on Friday was $3.47 a gallon, mid-grade was at $3.59 and premium was $3.70. That’s all according to the Lundberg Survey of 7,000 stations nationwide released Sunday. Continue Reading »

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