See, since Carrier IQ was detected on phones it has been learned that the FBI uses Carrier IQ software that is already embedded on more smartphones than dumb phones for investigative reasons.

Are you being investigated now? Maybe, but that’s not the point of this news.

The drive of the pick-up had sent and received txt messages within minutes of the crash that took his life. When the school buses filled with approximately 50 high school band geeks got involved in the collision, the result was the death of one band member and the complete de-harmonization of the rest of the band (well, until they played taps later that day).

The accident only goes to show that bus drivers are crazy even then they are not on The Simpsons or South Park.

Source of accidentally bused a life away.

Though like most of the Retarded there is not a superior level of intellect being floated around the Retard Offices, it’s still easy for this Retard to point at others and call names.

Assholes.

Not just the one mo-fo that started the fight, but for all of the mo-fo-a-holes that watched and laughed or just stood and watched. You don’t want to join in, you don’t want to cause a problem, that’s fine (wimpy asses) but at least you could stand up for humanity and stop the obvious bullying, call the police (or po-po for you mo-fos). Don’t be as bad or worse than the mo-fo you are watching and cheering on.

Now that this is started, the Retard News and Zone crew will be watching this story carefully, before starting to consider a level of justification carried out from the web.

Anonymous? Nope, we aren’t behind anonymity, we are willing to give the identity of every student in the video. For those of Anon, in /b4 roody-poos.

Where will this end? When there is a satisfactory outcome, Retards will continue with our other projects. At this point, the satisfaction being sought is names.

After a quick web check, “weap0n_X” or Kirk Dudley, might be the guy. Willing to come forward Kirk? Turn yourself into the police and allow the public to decide your outcome.

Source of anger and resentment towards mo-fo.

Expelling students should only be beginning.

Besides reading about Ruben being a stranger-to-the-attacked-couple, it seems that Ruben felt comfortable enough to sit on the porch of strangers and when confronted simply get into a fight with a man, woman, and maybe a cat or two (well, not that someone brought up cats, but a man that would beat a woman wouldn’t care about cats).

The 300-pound 5’10″ bodybuilder is thought to be suffering from some sort of steroid issues.

Really?

The police have notified the media that the attacked couple are alright in the hospital, in stable condition. Also, that Ruben was being held for attempted homicide and aggravated mayhem.

Let’s go lift some weights!

Source: muscles more than brains

Ed Mumm, probably not related to Olivia (but I do like this Olivia) but worth a quick mention, as he was the wonderful adventuring entrepreneur who created the Las Vegas, Nevada fun sand box for men.

The idea was find lots of land and bring in toys to help play with the large area of land. For the low price of $500 or more you too could get into the sand box for men.

Source: Sandbox for men.

A 23 year-old Shepherd resident allegedly caused a crash when he swerved his car toward a 24 year-old Vestaburg man. Of course there is no Shepherd-Vestaburg rivalry or family fued, it was just an accidental meeting that occurred.

Or was it?

(at this point, you can read the real news story or continue reading Retard News report on the subject – real news wimp out link)

RetardNews is reporting that the Shepherd man was carrying a bow and arrow and after a lonely and non-productive hunting trip, it seemed that there would only be one or two more chances to hunt before returning home.

With the roads mostly empty, it was a great opportunity for road rage and hunting before returning home for the evening.

During the encounter, the Shepherd man retrieved a bow from his pickup truck, loaded it with a mechanical broadhead arrow, fully drew the bow back and came at the Vestaburg man. The unarmed man retreated to his vehicle, left the scene and called police.

Sheriff’s deputies later found the suspect and fined him for not having a valid human hunting card.

When Steve Rooney was only 5 years old he witnessed lightning come down and strike his father, George Rooney, dead. Well it was only a matter of time, or approximately 48 years, before this lightning would have a chance to enact it’s next act of evil.

Yes, lightning can be evil. When do people say “that’s the nicest and most polite lightning…”

It was not quite a 48 year delay in the striking of lightning between the father and son, but the amount of time is eerily close and it seems like that’s enough to go on here.

See, when fire hunts down man, you know its possible that the lightning hunts families down.

When a business is started, there are of course costs that go into the business and operation of the business. One of the common costs is for business licenses and permits. The licenses and permits enable a city to track and take revenue from businesses along with getting money for the business to have the right to do business in a town.

Most business start ups plan for the known upcoming expenses. Children with lemonade stands don’t always do the same, as a business selling lemonade from the hard work of minors is not going to start any major revenue effect.

The police didn’t mind that when they shut down the girls that were trying to save enough money to earn their way to a water park, because the police were really trying to keep the children from having fun.

Case accomplished you meanie-bo-beanie.

Though the city of Chatham is known for more things than having A/C thefts, it was enough of a draw that the police are informing people.

When you read about theft and something being taken from a home, it usually is something a little smaller than a several hundred pound air conditioner. And then when stupid writing about “central air” comes in, you know that the writers are trying to figure out how all the ducting was removed.

No, no you silly writers. The theives are not removing all of the A/C system, they are just taking the condensor/cooling units which are located outside of the house.

While reading this story it occurred to the retarded crew consulted (lots of voices in one’s head allows for many varied conversations) that the air coditioner company that sells A/C systems stands to make the greatest amount of money from this whole situation, where a replacement air conditioner is required.

You should really read about this story so that you can learn how to secure your A/C unit before your local air coditioning company is cited in the news.

What happens when you walk into an art gallery, see something you like, then take it and leave? If you are quick and direct and don’t get caught on security tape, then you have procured yourself a Picasso, congratulations are in order.

When you decided to take the Picasso, did anyone else object to it? When I take pens from trash cans at work (I’m working on making a 10 foot long stick pen to poke people) there is never a complaint, so maybe the Picasso should have been placed into the trash first.

Well, the Picasson thief just walked into the San Francisco located Weinstein Gallery, took something he wanted, then exited. Time for a visit to Geary Street in San Francisco so that you too can get your very own Picasso for a steal!

Along with a 5 years of probation there was a fine of $50, which wouldn’t be for anything more than partial legal paperwork costs. The real price paid for this will either be the enduring torture the unspankable child will receive with dirty looks and grunting noises or the actual knowledge that the child is in more of a position of authority than the parent.

Spanking a child for minor disciplinarian reasons is totally acceptable and expected. When the children stop getting disciplined, the real problems start to show.

You don’t spank children!