If you were Behar Merlaku and a 26-year-old slot machine winner, you would find a way to get the extra $56,999,900 and would employ lawyers to help you.

Casinos Austria AG, the company that runs the casino in Bregenz, Austria along with other casinos in other places, is claiming that a software glitch caused the win. Because of the blame of the software glitch, the casino found a way to successfully not have to pay out the win. Will they really get away with it? Maybe…

Now the disgruntled Behar is to launch a lawsuit in Austria next month to force the casino to follow through with the ‘win’, his lawyers say he is entitled to because of the what machine said. But what if the slot machine instead of saying “win $57 million” it said “slam your face into wall until dead” would be required to honor the request?

Since the casino will prove that the error occurred and can prove the problem exists, they will get out of having to pay anything and the winner will become a loser with his lost bet and now lawyer costs.

Good luck to the cheating casino.

The conclusion is that evolution of man and mammals and birds and world-of-warcraft all originated from fish.

Scientists found that the African lungfish can lift its body clear off the floor and propel itself forward using limbs instead of fish faces and smelliness.

The lungfish is an ugly looking animal, so instead of telling you all about the specialness of air breathing fish, let us imagine something about super heroes instead.

Aquaman better than Superman.

In Nadia, India a twelve year old — not twenty-something year old, but a 12 year old who probably already had enough of a crap life — decided to help the family.

What sort of sacrifice would Mumpy … wait, what? Serious? Parents named a child Mumpy? Maybe this story isn’t about a girl sarcrificing herself for others but of a sacrifice to end an existence without the happiness that Jennifer, Stacy, Paris, Lindsay, and Bertha could experience because their parents were more creative.

Well, Mumpy, figured that she could help her father save his eye sight, save her brother’s life with a kidney transplant, and keep from being placed into a slave arranged marriage where a possible dowry could cost the family money.

Mumpy ended her own life, committing suicide, leaving a note explaining her feelings and wishes that the family continue on with her memory but mostly for her family to keep living healthy and functional lives.

The note was found one day after Mumpy was cremated.

Suicide failure

The two trucks, filled with 240 and 273 animals people were pulled over after they accelerated through a vehicle scanner at a police checkpoint. Of course the drivers weren’t thinking too clearly when they started stacking people 4 or 6 high on top of each other in order to fit them all in the trailer.

Though this is an outstanding quantity of people for such a respectively little quantity of vehicles being used during the seemingly innocent transportation, it is not even the largest stopping and finding of Mexicans attempting to cross the border illegally. There are other coyotes that claim those titles.

Maybe the United States wanted to have the potential of collecting $42,800 in seatbelt violation fines.

What else could you do with two trucks and 513 people?

• create 73 soccer teams (w/two substitute players)
• find more Obama supporters
• organize largest salsa dance group for Guiness Book
• celebrate Cinco de Mayo in style
• double the occupancy of a regular Mexican household
• have 9 consecutive timed games of 52 pickup
• lower 24 hoopties in 24 hours
• hunt down the chupacabra

Until you find something better to do with millions of illegal and Mexican speaking cattle people, maybe you can find something to do with the 513 that are going to finding more ways to save $7,000 per person.

Read more Mexican insanity

It’s been questioned if heaven is real or imaginary. Hawking is convinced that heaven is non-existing, which is a very difficult statement to back up as a scientist, as Hawking is unable to prove the existence of heaven, hell, or even the feeling of winning a running race.

Hawking, I’m proposing to you that not only is there a heaven, but that people have been actively communicating with heaven’s residents!

Could you prove that heaven exists? Of course not. If it were able to be proven, it wouldn’t be up for a discussion in any way (you don’t often hear philosophical discussions about the possible existence of or ). Hawking, I challenge you to a challenge challenging the unchallengeable singing competition foot race finding Osama bin Laden death photos disprove heaven’s existence. Because it’s a challenge, there must be a competitor.

I’m not in the position to challenge Stevie Hawking, he’s the smartest wheel-chair-bound scientist I have never met. He’s really not in a position to challenge the retarded though, as technically that would be like a wheelchair bound handicapped man being a bully… ha ha ha!

Well, read more about the anti-nyctophobia Stephen Hawking.

When Maria was brought up in a religious home with teachings and followings to help shape her cult Catholic life, little did her parents know that she would eventually tattoo nearly 100% of her body (like other retarded tattoo seekers). When tattoos weren’t enough, Maria decided it was time to go all-in.

Maria has also added multiple piercings to her face. Titanium implants. Eye color changing. Dental implants (fangs). And was surgically implanted with the world’s most extreme ugly stick.

Of course, having this sort of person with little self-control and most definitely no sense of intellect, wouldn’t be quite right unless they could help plague the rest of society, so Maria keeps her four kids close by so they will be able to grow up in the presence of a side-show-entertainer that has no show.

When Maria gets around to your area of the afterlife you know that you must have been Osama Bin Laden & Hitler’s love-child.

More about Maria the Catholic Vampire.

The 38-year-old was seeing the object of his obsession affection, Miss Rebecca “I-Hate-Bloggers” Pattinson, who he had been seeing (in his mind as well as physically) for three years. I think that after three years, if there’s no stalking than there’s no love.

When the overly-aggressive Stephen tried to convince Rebecca that they should move into a place together, the mother of two up-and-coming-bloggers refused to co-habitate, ending their relationship. That’s when the crazy got crazier…

Andreassen started calling, emailing, texting, messaging, bought some carrier pigeons (from Mike Tyson) and even started to hire trained monkeys to annoy the crap out of Miss Pattinson in hopes of driving her insane, and hence back into the arms of the freakies.

Like most men that are left holding their own man-meat when their woman leaves, Stephen headed down to crazy town – occupancy, one.

If you keep reading the article, you’ll learn about 200 sleeping pills, attempted suicide, some Scotland Yard stuff too.

Article link for retard stalker.

Of course there is money involved and possible legacies that could last as long as other huge phenoms (red paperclip, blue ferrari, craig’s list killer).

Why would a non-mentally impaired person do something like this? You could contact the NYU school of stupidity and ask to speak with Bilal, but I would rather take pictures of him than have to listen to him speak.

“I am going about my daily life as I did before the procedure.”

Really now? What was life like when you walked around with a camera lens sticking out of your head before?

Source: Arab Museum of Modern Art

In the study, 16% of all students fulfilled migraine criteria and 20% of all students were smokers. However, the percentage of migraineurs who smoked was greater (29%) and migraine frequency in those who were both migraine sufferers and smokers was higher than in those who were nonsmoking migraine sufferers. Therefore smoking clearly seems to be a precipitating factor for this type of headache and there also was a direct relationship between the number of cigarettes consumed and the frequency of migraine attacks, with migraines typically provoked by smoking more than 5 daily cigarettes. Although a greater percentage of students with migraines smoked, they actually smoked less than those who did not suffer migraines; apparently, the migraineurs knew they were more likely to have an attack if they exceeded the 5 cigarette limit, so the prospect of pain was a self-limiting factor.

Even otherwise, the Russian settled in France after a stopover in Kazakhstan doesn’t conform to the average Indian’s idea of the staid world of chess.

His love for alcohol is as well known as his profound talent, he is hardly seen without a cigarette when he is not playing, his fascination for the blitz form —what T20 is to cricket —once led him to say “blitz changes reality…the light seems brighter and beer tastes sweeter” and he had initiated a ‘chess beauty contest’ with brother Evgeny. Lack of funds shut down the venture within a year after inception, in 2006.

Tkachiev is turning up in dark glasses after the drunken third-round forfeiture on Thursday. As he spoke about the aborted beauty contest, the stubble on his face turned golden in the fading light giving him the look of a true maverick.

“The idea was to show that women who play chess are not just intelligent. They are sexy, beautiful and why not have a contest to find out the best. Another important reason was to make the game popular by bringing it out of its boring confines,” Tkachiev told HT.

According to their plans, women chess players would send ‘offbeat’ photographs of themselves to be posted on the contest’s website.

They received about 400 entries with WGMs Natalija Pogonina, Maria Manakova and Almira Skripchenko amomg them. Tkachiev said there were a few Indians too, but couldn’t recall the names.

“We had planned an awards gala with $10,000 for the winner… There were no sponsors, we couldn’t sustain it.”

The contest drew criticism but WGM Anna Zuzulia, representing Belgium in the Kolkata Open, said she was okay with the idea.

“Most people think women chess players wear glasses and are abnormal. That’s not the case.”

Tkachiev has moved on in life. He seems to know that not everyone appreciates everything he does and accepts it with a witty smile. “What happened that day?” someone asked. “I lost,” came the amused answer after a pause.